Comments on: She’s bisexual and married to a man.

By: jay

jay — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 23:46:44 +0000

When I was 13, i realised my mum was more than close to another female. Later I saw that they were in fact lovers when i came from school early and found them. we talked and i was and am fine with who my mum is. it made me open-minded and led to my own experiences.

By: different visitor

different visitor — Fri, 28 May 2010 05:29:23 +0000

To the visitor’s response that has disgust. If its so disgusting to you and you felt the need to leave the crude and invasive comment then how is it you came to this site and to this blog? You took the time to read the story and the answer and comments. Seems to me your a bit curious yourself or you would not of been in this particular site and blog.

My opinion is that as long as you are comfortable with your kids knowing and comfortable with the possibility that your children may end up living the same life style as yours then go for it. Children have a mind of their own and can make decisions on their own. You can have your dreams for your children, but keep in mind they have their own dreams for themselves.

By: Marauder

Marauder — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 23:59:10 +0000

Visitor, why are you assuming that the woman who wrote the question is also having sex with a woman? There’s nothing in her letter that indicates that at all.

Thanks for answering this question, Abigail. With any luck my fiance and I will be in the same situation in ten years or so.

By: Jason

Jason — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 22:53:03 +0000

Disgusting? How so? Are bisexuals not supposed to have children? Oops, nobody ever told me. Me wife is also bi. We have an unusual family true, but we are all very happy. As both Anne and Brenda commented being open and honest is absolutely vital. Our children are very aware that they have a special family. Our society loses so much by not accepting persons who are different.

By: Visitor

Visitor — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 01:18:01 +0000

It is disgusting that you would lead a “bisexual” lifestyle and have ANY children. What an injustice for them.

If your husband doesn’t get his own “kicks” from your “bi” choice, which would be unhealthy anyway, then he’s a total moron for tolerating you and your “discreet” activities.

By: BrendaLee

BrendaLee — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 05:33:18 +0000

I am a bisexual mom of two, and have been married to an LGBT-friendly man for over a decade. The key to the success of our marriage has been honest communication. My orientation has never been a secret, although not everyone in my family “knows”.

Monogamy is far from dull. We are comfortable enough in our marriage to discuss what we find attractive and to discover together what makes us feel good. We find others attractive and share our thoughts without feeling jealous, because we trust each other implicitly. We are faithful to each other and won’t jeopardize our relationship for a fling. Being open about our desires has served to strengthen our marriage rather than damage it. Like any couple, we’ve had our share of stormy weather, but things are easily resolved.

Now, as for our children, they have known since an early age that I used to date women and we have taught them that families come in many shapes and sizes. They have grown up with tolerance, compassion, and respect for others. Having a bisexual mom has not affected their orientations; it has made them more aware of the spectrum of love and more kind towards others.

By: Anne

Anne — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 05:03:24 +0000

We have three preschool children and my husband knows I am bisexual. We’ve agreed to keep it quiet. He says as long as I am discreet and cautious he will stay with me. Honesty is the only way to deal with this issue. Never hide it from your spouse.

By: Karen

Karen — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 21:16:18 +0000

Abigail,

You can also check out http://www.dottiesmagicpockets.com for “Dottie’s Magic Pockets” – a new DVD aimed at helping all kids understand and accept queer families.

Good luck!

By: chief

chief — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 17:06:40 +0000

Being bisexual is infidelity and thus confused. Choose one and forget the other.

By: Robert

Robert — Fri, 22 Dec 2006 04:29:51 +0000

I always enjoy reading your advice (though sometimes I do so a while after it comes out).

When I read the recent advice item about a bi married woman with kids, it occurred to me to suggest a yahoo group I read called “Making Mixed Orientation Marriages Work.” (I’m a bi man married to a straight woman.)

Link: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MMOMW/

I’ve found the group to be a good place to find people who can debunk the myth that a marriage with one gay or bi partner cannot work.

Best regards,
Robert