Comments on: Father struggles to accept gay son.

By: Hasan

Hasan — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 21:43:30 +0000

I just finished reading all the comments of gays and their parents, almost all of them had touched my heart and my cheeks are wet and few drops are rolling over my chin.

I am 21 years old only son of my parents along with a sister but unlike her I am homosexual and I knew this since my early childhood. Believe me its really tough to be gay here, being a citizen of Pakistan, a country where homosexuality is religiously and legally punishable and shameful and gays can get death penalty, i have always find my self pretending to be NORMAL, I have always molded me for others, but still my relationship with my father isn’t satisfactory although he don’t know about my homosexuality and we hardly talk with each other, because according to him I am not that strong and masculine that his son should be, it really breaks my heart and that is the reason he feels more comfortable with company of my cousins than mine. Its really very tough to be gay, I am an abstainer and still in closet but I don’t know how long will it work.

By: Stunned and Saddened

Stunned and Saddened — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 04:57:51 +0000

I thought I would check back on this site after a couple of months. I hope other parents are doing well.

It’s been 4 months since my only son at 19 came out to us. My wife and I get through each day. That’s about it. To a large degree it’s ruined our lives. I wish it were not so. We keep our feelings to ourselves. It is best to spare him the knowledge of the impact of this situation on us.

My wife and I are educated people, not very religious, etc… Our objection is the abnormality of it, (life depends on male-female attraction, any other rationale is intellectually dishonest), and moral. It’s simply disgusting.

If anyone has an idea when the pain goes away, let me know.

By: annonymous

annonymous — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 02:04:17 +0000

I have always known my son was gay from the time he was in his pre-teens. My entire family has always known including my husband. My son has tried his hardest to be what society thinks as normal… date girls but honestly it was painful to watch. Finally he told me, not his father that he was gay… and I said “duh!!” I celebrated with him the relief he now felt and of course we cried. I cried because I’m so afraid of how people will treat him and I want to protect him but I can’t. I can’t even protect him from his own father who said horrible and unforgiving words to him. My son handled his father like a champ but I’m so angry with him for being so hurtful that I’m thinking of leaving him. My children are my very soul I can’t imagine feeling anything but pure unconditional love when my son needed me the most and I’m having such a hard time wondering why my husband couldn’t do the same. He needs help but he would never seek counseling… maybe the threat of divorce will do the trick.

By: cyn

cyn — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 02:04:05 +0000

It’s been three years since our only son let us know. It has gotten only marginally easier. I try to remember how much I loved him…but it’s as if all those years were a lie. A lot has happened, the incidents between our son, my husband and I have been traumatizing. We take one step forward and two back. I don’t know if we will ever truly be a family again.

It’s hard to watch your son be gay…the manipulations that are used to shut up the parent and force acceptance does nothing…but the opposite. I thought I was strong…and could face anything…not true.

By: D man

D man — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 19:25:25 +0000

I’m sitting here, with tears in my eyes. Had feelings my 19 year-old son was gay, but after reading his texts on his cell, I know. I don’t know how to deal with this. Reading these comments does help, but man, I have a long way to go in dealing with this. Being African-American, our community is really tough on the gay lifestyle. He’s in for a hard life and it kills me knowing how he may be treated.

By: Stunned and Saddened

Stunned and Saddened — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 20:09:18 +0000

My only son came out to us 2 weeks ago. He is 19. He has an older sister who is straight with a long time boy friend.

My wife cried for a bit and got over it. I cried also, but have run out of tears. I love my boy, but will never accept homosexuality. I know me, and this will never happen. The very thought of homosexual conduct has always been disgusting to me.

I coached him, went fishing with him, I poured my life into him and for that matter both of our children. I feel cheated and angry. The soundest scientifically done, non-politically motivated, studies indicate the chances of an only son being gay is about 2%. Why my only son?

I’ve also come to realize however that because my son is different than other sons he needs my love more than most. He will always have it. I will do what most men would do. I will keep my thoughts to myself, and carry on the best I can everyday. As I write this I cannot even imagine the concept of true happiness however.

By: Corey

Corey — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 09:34:57 +0000

I came out to my dad –a military man — when I was 17. Five years earlier my little sister told a joke about how “God created Adam & Eve, not Adam & Steve.” My dad laughed and seemed very pleased with her. I felt so rejected inside because I always knew I was attracted to guys. I wanted to blurt out that I was gay! It took five years for me to tell him! When I did, he said he was proud we had a relationship where I could talk to him about this and that he and his father were not close and that he loved me. I could tell he was really shocked though.

By: Randy

Randy — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 03:05:33 +0000

My son announced he was gay when he was 20, 4 years later I no longer have a son as I cannot and will not have any part of this lifestyle in my family.

It is abnormal and disgusting despite what the left leaning sympathziers want us to believe,

Randy

By: Jag

Jag — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 11:02:44 +0000

I am male 30 yrs in india. I have been going thru this problem for almost more than 15 years but hate my homosexual feelings. I have been struggling with this and have gone thru some of the websites to change person from homosexual to straight. I have been struggling with and have approached some father figure persons to help me out but no one was interested to help me. I request if your is having homosexual feeling just give him a hug and tell that you are there to support for a change. Sure you can see a change in him. Its really very tuff when u have homosexual feeling eventhough you hate that have been going thru some sort depression for 15 yrs. Its really very tuff for kid going thru this pain. Hope my reply would be helpful some of the peoples here.
Thanks

By: jack

jack — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 00:07:35 +0000

My son informed us about 10 days ago that he was gay. First let me say that I have always loved and will always love my son. Regardless of what he does. If anything I’ve been calling him more since he spoke with us, because I want to make sure he’s not getting depressed or self destructive.

He says that he and a friend decided that they were gay in 7th grade. I cant help but see a couple of confused kids leading each other into bad decisions. He’s had 8 years to deal with this, but he’s dealt with mostly in secret, or with people that take pains to be politically correct, or people that support homosexuality. In all that time he didn’t feel he could trust those that love him.

There is verly little in the way of unbiased information available to him or us. I saw the suggestion to speak to the “gay friendly” therapist. Some people speak to church counselors. Neither the gay community nor the gay condemning community will allow honest discussion.