Comments on: Father struggles to accept gay son.

By: Joe

Joe — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 09:18:47 +0000

You all make me f*****g sick. I am gay and 25 years of age.
Never in my life have I ever read such disgusting, rude, close minded hateful comments. Gays, lesbians, transgendered people DO NOT CHOOSE, DO NOT, to be gay or to have the orientation they have. For many they wish they could change it. When I was 16, every night without fail I locked myself in my room doing drugs and trying to cut into a vein, all because insecure close minded a**holes like you ridicule the different, I did not want anyone knowing what I was for the simple fact it was perceived as unnatural. Let me just tell you coming out was the most heart wrenching yet best experience of my life, I know who loves, cares and truly support me now. My parents said they loved me, LOVED me. Not anymore.

I want to say to every ACCEPTING person on this forum you make gay and lesbian people’s lives so much easier. I have so much respect and if it wasn’t for the great people that see past the orientation, I would be in a coffin in a ground. You make us all feel so welcome and actually accept us for who we were born to be.

By: Ray

Ray — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 04:44:59 +0000

And yet, generation after generation, GLBT people are born and in about the same numbers each time. Isn’t it time we started simply accepting that this is natural. loving those who are our family and friends and leave judgement alone?

By: COMING FULL CIRCLE

COMING FULL CIRCLE — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 13:15:33 +0000

RESPONSE TO RAUB – OHHH MYYY GOODNESS I cannot believe your comment “oh well…one less in the world” I’m SHOCKED! I was reading the posts because I’m confused and still working through personal issues about finding out my 20 year old daughter is in love with her best friend. It was not the Life Plan I had for her but it was my Life Plan NOT HERS. So even though I am working through some of my own personal struggles accepting this news I will come full circle with acceptance and OF COURSE I WILL NEVER EVER LET this news affect my LOVE or RELATIONSHIP with her. I told her that NOTHING would ever change HOW MUCH I LOVE HER and that I will stand by her in whatever life path she choosses. She is my sweet little daughter that she always was and its me who has to work through issues and support her and walk along her with her chosen path in life. Just reading posts like yours makes me sick to my stomach. ABSOLUTELY sick to my stomach. LOVE your son even though you do not understand him. He needs your support. Your LOVE for him should be BIGGER than your self pitty.

By: Raub Ritter

Raub Ritter — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 16:49:06 +0000

Ok…Not sure where to begin. I just found out yesterday that my son has been talking to his openly (Everyone in school and all his friends know it) gay friend. I have never disallowed my son to have this boy as a friend….But now this gay friend is pressuring my son into having some kind of relationship to find out if he (my son) is gay.
I have read their IM’s and my son is stating he is bi-curious…My son knows that there might be a chance, That I will disown him.

I might deal with this differently if he approaches me….But I don’t want him to kill himself either…I read all the time that this is what happens to teens that have no idea…and that even just having these thoughts…Does NOT mean they are Gay!!!

Where are the support groups for people that don’t want to accept their gay child????
Yes I’m hurt…confused…and yes..intolerant to all this.
If it turns out that he is Gay….Damn It…so be it…and if he does take his life…oh well…one less in the world.
Wow…That hurt to write. I have written/deleted/rewritten this so many times..I have lost track.
Guess I’m just as confused as my son.

By: Joseph

Joseph — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 01:57:19 +0000

When my 20-yr-old son told me he was gay, he cried, he was scared that I would disown him, and throw him out of the house. This thought did not enter my mind once.

I love my son unconditionally. Accepting his homosexuality, however, is a different story. I feel like my heart is being gripped tight. I am sad and hurt. But this is not about me. His homosexuality is about him, and the very real and tough lifestyle this has. People will ridicule him, people will discriminate against him, in the real world, it is a tough life to live. And I don’t want to add to his struggle, with what I regard as my own selfish feelings.

I feel a lot like the earlier father, i cannot talk to anyone, I don’t want to talk to my wife or son, I just want to get by and live. For now, I will swallow my sadness, hug my son, and hope for the best.

By: Jane

Jane — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:48:49 +0000

Wow, all of these intolerant posts are very disturbing! I don’t even know where to begin. I think you simply believe your son is less of a man because he is gay. Is that it? If that is true then I feel sorry for you. I am going to make the not unreasonable assumption that your assessment of one’s manhood is based on things like how well one can throw a baseball, how hard one can swing a punch, and how many women one has slept with while you overlook the courage and fortitude it took for your son to be true to himself in the face of such adversity, and how he delivered you honesty at the risk of losing everything. And that right there is the real shame.

Though a fundamental part of our being, sexuality is a small part of who we are overall and has very little to do with what we have to offer the world or contribute to society. I could never understand the fears you people expressed. All the gay people I know live lives as normal, happy, fulfilling, and as meaningful as their hetero counterparts.

By: Hasan

Hasan — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 21:43:30 +0000

I just finished reading all the comments of gays and their parents, almost all of them had touched my heart and my cheeks are wet and few drops are rolling over my chin.

I am 21 years old only son of my parents along with a sister but unlike her I am homosexual and I knew this since my early childhood. Believe me its really tough to be gay here, being a citizen of Pakistan, a country where homosexuality is religiously and legally punishable and shameful and gays can get death penalty, i have always find my self pretending to be NORMAL, I have always molded me for others, but still my relationship with my father isn’t satisfactory although he don’t know about my homosexuality and we hardly talk with each other, because according to him I am not that strong and masculine that his son should be, it really breaks my heart and that is the reason he feels more comfortable with company of my cousins than mine. Its really very tough to be gay, I am an abstainer and still in closet but I don’t know how long will it work.

By: Stunned and Saddened

Stunned and Saddened — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 04:57:51 +0000

I thought I would check back on this site after a couple of months. I hope other parents are doing well.

It’s been 4 months since my only son at 19 came out to us. My wife and I get through each day. That’s about it. To a large degree it’s ruined our lives. I wish it were not so. We keep our feelings to ourselves. It is best to spare him the knowledge of the impact of this situation on us.

My wife and I are educated people, not very religious, etc… Our objection is the abnormality of it, (life depends on male-female attraction, any other rationale is intellectually dishonest), and moral. It’s simply disgusting.

If anyone has an idea when the pain goes away, let me know.

By: annonymous

annonymous — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 02:04:17 +0000

I have always known my son was gay from the time he was in his pre-teens. My entire family has always known including my husband. My son has tried his hardest to be what society thinks as normal… date girls but honestly it was painful to watch. Finally he told me, not his father that he was gay… and I said “duh!!” I celebrated with him the relief he now felt and of course we cried. I cried because I’m so afraid of how people will treat him and I want to protect him but I can’t. I can’t even protect him from his own father who said horrible and unforgiving words to him. My son handled his father like a champ but I’m so angry with him for being so hurtful that I’m thinking of leaving him. My children are my very soul I can’t imagine feeling anything but pure unconditional love when my son needed me the most and I’m having such a hard time wondering why my husband couldn’t do the same. He needs help but he would never seek counseling… maybe the threat of divorce will do the trick.

By: cyn

cyn — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 02:04:05 +0000

It’s been three years since our only son let us know. It has gotten only marginally easier. I try to remember how much I loved him…but it’s as if all those years were a lie. A lot has happened, the incidents between our son, my husband and I have been traumatizing. We take one step forward and two back. I don’t know if we will ever truly be a family again.

It’s hard to watch your son be gay…the manipulations that are used to shut up the parent and force acceptance does nothing…but the opposite. I thought I was strong…and could face anything…not true.