Comments on: Discovering Dad is gay — after 38 years of marriage. http://familieslikemine.com/2005/01/gay-dad-married-38-years/ Official Website for Abigail Garner's Book Fri, 21 Nov 2008 16:42:14 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.2 By: fornetti http://familieslikemine.com/2005/01/gay-dad-married-38-years/#comment-3707 fornetti Sun, 31 Aug 2008 07:12:41 +0000 http://familieslikemine.com/2005/01/gay-dad-married-38-years/#comment-3707 I do not believe this I do not believe this

]]> By: Danny http://familieslikemine.com/2005/01/gay-dad-married-38-years/#comment-33 Danny Wed, 29 Mar 2006 03:24:08 +0000 http://familieslikemine.com/2005/01/gay-dad-married-38-years/#comment-33 As Abigail said your husband is definitely not alone. No doubt your husband is probably angry about where this situation leaves his mother. The straight spouse is often the one who is forgotten about in such debates. The gay half goes off into their exciting new life, yet the straight one is left often feeling hurt and betrayed. They may well ask themselves "so what has my life meant?" They are no doubt frightened about what the future holds. What I will say is that if the straight spouse is able to move on without bitterness and resentment then they can find a new happy, joyous and free life. They can often do this with a person who can truly love them. Many of course do even better and find themselves. Some of course do not and end up bitter and twisted or move on into ever more dysfunctional relationships. I would suggest reading "My Husband is Gay: A woman's guide to surviving the crisis" by Carol Greaver. Regards, Danny As Abigail said your husband is definitely not alone. No doubt your husband is probably angry about where this situation leaves his mother. The straight spouse is often the one who is forgotten about in such debates. The gay half goes off into their exciting new life, yet the straight one is left often feeling hurt and betrayed. They may well ask themselves “so what has my life meant?” They are no doubt frightened about what the future holds. What I will say is that if the straight spouse is able to move on without bitterness and resentment then they can find a new happy, joyous and free life. They can often do this with a person who can truly love them. Many of course do even better and find themselves. Some of course do not and end up bitter and twisted or move on into ever more dysfunctional relationships. I would suggest reading “My Husband is Gay: A woman’s guide to surviving the crisis” by Carol Greaver.

Regards,
Danny

]]> By: Jimetta http://familieslikemine.com/2005/01/gay-dad-married-38-years/#comment-32 Jimetta Wed, 29 Mar 2006 03:23:31 +0000 http://familieslikemine.com/2005/01/gay-dad-married-38-years/#comment-32 I SO understand his feelings - I am 57 years old - a 'daddy's girl' who just received confirmation that my father was gay. He died in 1982, so I can't even confront him. It certainly explains the abuse of alcohol and the fights between my mom and him. My 82 year old mother has decided to not discuss it anymore because it is too painful. I am the first person she has told (I asked). She feels she has wasted her whole life since she chose to stay with him. I suspected, but tossed it up to his artistic talents and his taking the road less traveled. I have been angry - so angry that I had started to disassociate all traits of his that I inherited, such as his gracefulness, his ability to love, his creativity and his love of music. I watched the movie "Unconditional Love" and the dams broke loose. Victor Fox in that movie was the voice for healing for me. I finally realize that I can associate myself with the man who raised and loved me and just grieve until closure that I found out his secret too late. I will contact Colage - other groups were too young to discuss these issues - but your newsletter and a very good friend in whom I can confine help the healing process. I encouraged my stepson to come out - and am delighted in the new relationship we have with him now! Thank you for your openess... In God We Trust! I SO understand his feelings - I am 57 years old - a ‘daddy’s girl’ who just received confirmation that my father was gay. He died in 1982, so I can’t even confront him. It certainly explains the abuse of alcohol and the fights between my mom and him. My 82 year old mother has decided to not discuss it anymore because it is too painful.

I am the first person she has told (I asked). She feels she has wasted her whole life since she chose to stay with him. I suspected, but tossed it up to his artistic talents and his taking the road less traveled. I have been angry - so angry that I had started to disassociate all traits of his that I inherited, such as his gracefulness, his ability to love, his creativity and his love of music. I watched the movie “Unconditional Love” and the dams broke loose. Victor Fox in that movie was the voice for healing for me. I finally realize that I can associate myself with the man who raised and loved me and just grieve until closure that I found out his secret too late. I will contact Colage - other groups were too young to discuss these issues - but your newsletter and a very good friend in whom I can confine help the healing process. I encouraged my stepson to come out - and am delighted in the new relationship we have with him now! Thank you for your openess…

In God We Trust!

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