Comments on: Using a “known donor” you don’t really know.

By: Anne-Marie

Anne-Marie — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 04:14:47 +0000

Sorry, I forgot to mention that here, it is legal for my life partner to adopt my child at birth. Nonetheless the daddy has one year to claim his rights as a father and thus remove that right form the other mom. In our case, he is not interested in taking that responsibility.

byebye xx

By: Anne-Marie

Anne-Marie — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 04:11:54 +0000

Hello,

If I may respond to your initial concerns with my story. Perhaps it may add to your reflection…

I am a 32 years old lesbian. I was 5 years with my ex and she was not opened to the idea of having kids. Thus, when we broke up. Later, a nice looking and very bright man who was trying to seduce me. I told him I was a lesbian but he still insisted and said: “Don’t worry, when you meet someone I will know my place.” So… I slept with him unprotected a few times.

After the first time, he revealed to me that he was married! After the second or third time, I was pregnant. I told him right away and told him that I would never cause any turmoil in his life but that I would be pleased if he agreed to stay in the portrait just so he could know his child.

Now, my son is 5 months of age. I live with a woman since my fourth month of pregnancy. She has become the child’s official parent and the daddy is in touch with us. He came over here twice and is soon to move in the same city as us. He and my life partner will soon meet and try to have our second child. We feel that it is healthy if our kids have the same father. My life partner and I cultivate a very healthy communication and we feel that this man is our best chance. The fact that he is a married man indeed seems immoral but that is his personal responsibility. He did not wish to have kids but he is very proud to have one.

I don’t feel jealous so far. My life partner has strong values and feels bad about infidelity. She often tells me how difficult it will be for her to sleep with him even if it is our plan, simply because she is against cheating. I feel her honesty and I know I can trust her. We have had so many dialogs on the topic…Trust… communication… honesty from both parties…

By: Danny

Danny — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 01:24:48 +0000

Don’t feel comfortable passing further comment on this post only to add that there does seem to be a lot of control issues and lack of honesty that disturbs me about it. I generally feel that there’s more to this situation than is being revealed. The comment that he’s a ‘good boy’ really brought a deeply negative reaction from me. I can though point you to a resource that I’m sure will help. This is Pinkparents. It’s a UK based organisation for gay parents. I know that you are Irish, but I’m certain that they’ll be able to point you in the direction of some local resources.

Regards

Danny (Son of gay father and straight mother)