Comments on: Teen takes his mother’s clothes and cigarettes. http://familieslikemine.com/2006/03/teen-takes-mothers-clothes/ Official Website for Abigail Garner's Book Fri, 21 Nov 2008 19:13:32 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2.2 By: Gramdma Liz http://familieslikemine.com/2006/03/teen-takes-mothers-clothes/#comment-3 Gramdma Liz Wed, 29 Mar 2006 00:50:40 +0000 http://familieslikemine.com/2006/03/teen-takes-mothers-clothes/#comment-3 I liked the answer, but the kid probably will figure out that his Mom was in his closet.......so If he indicates this " you looked in my stuff !!!! " might as well own up and say yep I snooped, don't deny it. I think you might be more concerned about the smokeing than the clothes right now. Whatever way you can communicate love and careing for him, whatever he has on. I liked the answer, but the kid probably will figure out that his Mom was in his closet…….so If he indicates this ” you looked in my stuff !!!! ” might as well own up and say yep I snooped, don’t deny it. I think you might be more concerned about the smokeing than the clothes right now. Whatever way you can communicate love and careing for him, whatever he has on.

]]> By: Helen Boyd http://familieslikemine.com/2006/03/teen-takes-mothers-clothes/#comment-2 Helen Boyd Wed, 29 Mar 2006 00:49:15 +0000 http://familieslikemine.com/2006/03/teen-takes-mothers-clothes/#comment-2 Just wanted to say that I liked your advice for the mom whose son is trying on - and stashing - her clothes. It's really important to emphasize to young MTFs (of whatever stripe) that <em>they need to get their own clothes.</em> Their transness is not a good enough excuse to borrow or take other people's clothes. Just wanted to say that I liked your advice for the mom whose son is trying on - and stashing - her clothes. It’s really important to emphasize to young MTFs (of whatever stripe) that they need to get their own clothes. Their transness is not a good enough excuse to borrow or take other people’s clothes.

]]> By: Dave Parker http://familieslikemine.com/2006/03/teen-takes-mothers-clothes/#comment-4 Dave Parker Fri, 03 Mar 2006 00:53:14 +0000 http://familieslikemine.com/2006/03/teen-takes-mothers-clothes/#comment-4 Briefly, nicotine is the most potent legal addictive agent available. Once one is addicted, it is VERY difficult to stop; usually outside help is required. Stopping smoking yourself and explaining this to your son should help. Regarding dressing in your clothes (called cross-dressing), this is a transgender behavior. It may mean your son simply likes to cross-dress, as ten million US males apparently do; cross-dressing is usually thought of as a male phenomenon. Be aware, however, that MOST women cross-dress, purchasing and wearing clothes designed and sold for males. That is no longer stigmatized by our society. Your son also may have stronger transgender desires. Until you can open mutual discussion of the topic, you won't know. However, there is a world of support for you as you work through this situation at the Parents elist at <a href="http://www.TransFamily.org" rel="nofollow">www.TransFamily.org</a>. Currently approaching nearly 300 members, this list includes parents of trans children of all ages -- 4 years or so to their mid forties. Everyone on the list is somewhere on the journey to acceptance of their child's gender variance. Any questions you wish to raise can be discussed openly and in confidence. Take a look at the web site and see if it may help you. And make sure that your son knows you love him -- regardless. Dave Parker, President PFLAG Transgender Network Briefly, nicotine is the most potent legal addictive agent available. Once one is addicted, it is VERY difficult to stop; usually outside help is required. Stopping smoking yourself and explaining this to your son should help.

Regarding dressing in your clothes (called cross-dressing), this is a transgender behavior. It may mean your son simply likes to cross-dress, as ten million US males apparently do; cross-dressing is usually thought of as a male phenomenon. Be aware, however, that MOST women cross-dress, purchasing and wearing clothes designed and sold for males. That is no longer stigmatized by our society.

Your son also may have stronger transgender desires. Until you can open mutual discussion of the topic, you won’t know. However, there is a world of support for you as you work through this situation at the Parents elist at www.TransFamily.org. Currently approaching nearly 300 members, this list includes parents of trans children of all ages — 4 years or so to their mid forties. Everyone on the list is somewhere on the journey to acceptance of their child’s gender variance. Any questions you wish to raise can be discussed openly and in confidence. Take a look at the web site and see if it may help you.

And make sure that your son knows you love him — regardless.

Dave Parker, President
PFLAG Transgender Network

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