Comments on: Teen takes his mother’s clothes and cigarettes.

By: Robert

Robert — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 23:15:23 +0000

Since you already know that your son likes to wear female garments. You should ask him if he would like some of his own. If he says yes, Then take him shopping, but explain to him that he can crossdress in the home ANYTIME he feels the need to do so. Tell him he can dress with you at home, but don’t compel him to do so. Inform him of the possible consequences of his going out in public dressed. This will alleviate some of the stress he feels about hiding it from you.
The stresses involved could run a vast gamut. Unfortunately it could also lead to suicide. I am certain that you would rather have a live son in a dress or skirt then a dead boy in jeans. This is serious. A lot of boys who are forced to suppress their gender issues do attempt it. I have been there, on the edge a couple of times, luckily my family intervened and helped.

By: A Real Parent

A Real Parent — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 18:57:41 +0000

Have your kid quit watching MTV, BRAVO and all other programs that promote this junk. Yes he is going through some mental problems. Hello? You went through a divorce! So now I am sure he feels to get rid of the pain is to change himself all together. This will make the childs life very hard if you do not talk to him. I mean really talk to him. Giving hints does not work. It makes you look clueless.

By: Gramdma Liz

Gramdma Liz — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 00:50:40 +0000

I liked the answer, but the kid probably will figure out that his Mom was in his closet…….so If he indicates this ” you looked in my stuff !!!! ” might as well own up and say yep I snooped, don’t deny it. I think you might be more concerned about the smokeing than the clothes right now. Whatever way you can communicate love and careing for him, whatever he has on.

By: Helen Boyd

Helen Boyd — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 00:49:15 +0000

Just wanted to say that I liked your advice for the mom whose son is trying on – and stashing – her clothes. It’s really important to emphasize to young MTFs (of whatever stripe) that they need to get their own clothes. Their transness is not a good enough excuse to borrow or take other people’s clothes.

By: Dave Parker

Dave Parker — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 00:53:14 +0000

Briefly, nicotine is the most potent legal addictive agent available. Once one is addicted, it is VERY difficult to stop; usually outside help is required. Stopping smoking yourself and explaining this to your son should help.

Regarding dressing in your clothes (called cross-dressing), this is a transgender behavior. It may mean your son simply likes to cross-dress, as ten million US males apparently do; cross-dressing is usually thought of as a male phenomenon. Be aware, however, that MOST women cross-dress, purchasing and wearing clothes designed and sold for males. That is no longer stigmatized by our society.

Your son also may have stronger transgender desires. Until you can open mutual discussion of the topic, you won’t know. However, there is a world of support for you as you work through this situation at the Parents elist at http://www.TransFamily.org. Currently approaching nearly 300 members, this list includes parents of trans children of all ages — 4 years or so to their mid forties. Everyone on the list is somewhere on the journey to acceptance of their child’s gender variance. Any questions you wish to raise can be discussed openly and in confidence. Take a look at the web site and see if it may help you.

And make sure that your son knows you love him — regardless.

Dave Parker, President
PFLAG Transgender Network