Category Archives: Reply Included

Children resist lesbian mothers’ urge to merge.

Q:

My partner and I have just purchased our first home together. We are extremely excited about this move since we have been living in separate apartments for over eight months.

The problem arises with the different levels of acceptance our children have about our decision to live together. They range in age from 21 to 13. Her two oldest sons — both over 18 — will not be joining us in our new home. They are extremely homophobic and vocally oppose our plan. Continue reading Children resist lesbian mothers’ urge to merge.

Mom’s girlfriend sleeps downstairs.

Q:

I am in a relationship with another woman who has a 10-year-old daughter. She told her daughter that we love each other to which her daughter replied, “I know.”

Now, I am not sure what exactly she “knows” but when I stay over, I sleep downstairs in another room. I’d like to stay with my girlfriend in her bedroom, which is upstairs, near her daughter’s bedroom but my girlfriend is not sure how to explain this to her daughter. What would be the best way to tell her daughter that we want to sleep in the same bedroom? Continue reading Mom’s girlfriend sleeps downstairs.

“Kids at school are asking if my mom is a lesbian.”

Q:

My mother just told me that she is a lesbian and that she has a girlfriend. It’s a lot of stress just finding out, but what’s more difficult is that everybody at school has always asked me if my mom is a lesbian. Whenever people asked, I would defend her and say she was not.

Now that she has told me she really is a lesbian, I don’t know what to do. Should I tell people the truth when they ask, or should I go on protecting my mom?

— 14-year-old daughter in Southern California Continue reading “Kids at school are asking if my mom is a lesbian.”

Teen afraid to ask about biological father.

Q:

I am a 17-year-old daughter of a lesbian couple. There is me, my biological mom, my other mom and her two kids from a previous marriage. My parents had been together about 8 years before I was born.

I don’t know my father, his name, heritage, or anything. I can only remember one time the topic of my father really came up in conversation. Continue reading Teen afraid to ask about biological father.

Should nieces attend their aunt’s commitment ceremony?

Q:

I am a heterosexual mother of a five year old daughter and 11-year-old son. My lesbian sister is planning her “commitment ceremony” and wants my daughter to be the flower girl.

My 11 year old son knows his aunt is a lesbian, but has never really seemed to mind. We have never really discussed it, because it has not been an issue. Now that she is planning basically a “wedding,” it is an issue. Continue reading Should nieces attend their aunt’s commitment ceremony?

Should a transgender parent come out to his kids and their father?

Q:

I am a transgendered man who left my ex-husband two years ago. I left him for other reasons and did not realize — at least, not consciously — that I was transgender until after I left him.

We have two daughters, 4 and 5, who live with him by my choice. I feel that they’re better placed with him than with me, and I visit them regularly. I have made a lot of positive progress in my life since coming out about my gender identity, and just about everybody in my life knows. But I haven’t been able to get up the nerve to come out to my ex. Continue reading Should a transgender parent come out to his kids and their father?