Language is powerful. When it comes to using (or not using) the q-word, there are many different opinions. Here’s mine:

Not everyone knows this, but “queer” has historically been a derogatory term. I was raised to not use it at all, even in its original definition. I know that a part of the LGBT community uses the word as a way to reclaim it and take away its negative power. It has been only recently that I have grown more comfortable with using the word, but within limits. I use it as a tool for articulating broad concepts like “queer culture,” and I sometimes refer to children like me as being “culturally queer,” or having a “queer sensibility.”

I am empathetic to the fact that “queer” is a hurtful word to many people, particularly the older generations. I do not use the word to refer to other families and individuals unless they actively use it to identify themselves. I do not describe my own two dads as “queer”, because they are among those for whom the word “queer” has strong negative feelings.

As with any label, “queer” should be relished by those who want it, but not forced upon anyone who does not.