Dec 1st, 2003
I am a bisexual woman married to a man. We have two toddlers. While we might have the outside appearance of being a heterosexual couple, most of our friends and social activities are LGBT.
My husband is straight but, he is also active in his LGBT group at his company — works on the parade float, performs in the parade, goes to parties, etc.
Our children are definitely being raised in queer culture. How do we explain this to them as they are growing up?
I am sure you have noticed that so much of the conversation about LGBT parents is really about “same-sex parents.” Bisexual parents who are married to someone of the opposite sex are often overlooked for the very reason that their sexual orientation is not as obvious — they are mistaken for heterosexual couples.
Your kids are young enough that your family’s involvement in the LGBT community will be something they know and accept. You take pride in being a part of this community; they will probably enjoy it, too.
Still, they will need you to help them find the words to better understand their family. They need to hear in casual and frequent ways that you are bisexual or whatever word works best for you to describe yourself. If you don’t say anything, as they grow up, they will wonder but will be afraid to ask.
What matters to the kids is that your sexuality is not going to threaten your relationship with their dad. Most of the conversations they will overhear in the LGBT community about bisexual parents will involve someone coming out and then divorcing. They need to know that for you, part of being bisexual means that you love their dad very much and you are staying with him.
bisexual.org: A resource site maintained by the Bisexual Foundation