Category Archives: Closet / Secrets

Her father’s sexual orientation is the “elephant in the livingroom.”

Q:

Three years ago, my sisters and I found out my father is gay, but not because he came out and told us. My youngest sister (11 at the time) found some incriminating evidence, and put the pieces together. Since then, there has been a mutual understanding between my mother and father, and my father and us, that he is gay, but our family will remain intact. We have never sat down together to actually discuss the situation, Continue reading Her father’s sexual orientation is the “elephant in the livingroom.”

Teen takes his mother’s clothes and cigarettes.

Q:

I’m writing about my 14-year-old son. He’s my only child and his father and I are divorced. I think he might be gay and I don’t know if I should try to talk to him about it or what I should say.

While cleaning up his room on Friday, I found a box in his closet. The box contained a lot of my clothes and several packs of my cigarettes (mostly empty). I also found letters that he had written to me but never gave me. Continue reading Teen takes his mother’s clothes and cigarettes.

How can the daughter of a gay father move past secrets and isolation?

Q:

I stumbled on your website out of of desperation. I’m 28 years old. I found out my father was gay when I was 13, but I had to keep it a secret for nearly ten years, because my father said he wasn’t ready to tell my younger brother — or anyone else for that matter.

I was made to accept my family’s situation very quietly and had no one to talk to as it was “a secret.” I love my father and thought we had a good relationship, but lately I feel so angry. Continue reading How can the daughter of a gay father move past secrets and isolation?

In love with a parent in the closet.

Q:

My girlfriend is telling me that we can never be together because of her kids (ages 11 and 2). Our relationship began seven months ago, but we were friends first. This is her first gay relationship. She has told me that she has never been happier in her life, but she just can’t do it because of the kids. I told her she should come out to the kids, and she sounded scared to death to even think about it. Plus, she won’t talk to anyone else about this.

It makes me feel as if she is ashamed of me in public, but in love with me in private. Continue reading In love with a parent in the closet.

“Ex-lesbian” mother has abusive boyfriend.

Q:

I am a 40-year-old mother, currently living with a man for the past three years. Before this, I was with a woman for ten years. I am still very attracted to women and I have dreams about them all the time. This guy is abusive in every way and he is in counseling for anger management. He says he loves me but I am confused about what I want, thinking I can get over this turmoil I feel inside by focusing on what the straight life can provide.

I am unhappy, but I am Catholic and my family would freak Continue reading “Ex-lesbian” mother has abusive boyfriend.

Discovering Dad is gay — after 38 years of marriage.

Q:

My husband just found out that his parents are divorcing after 38 years of marriage because his father is gay. My husband is supportive of gay rights, but right now he is shocked and incredibly upset. He feels deceived by his father for keeping this secret for so long and for deserting his mother. Are there any resources out there for this type of situation? Continue reading Discovering Dad is gay — after 38 years of marriage.

A stepmother wonders about her stepkids’ closeted mom.

Q:

I am a stepmother with two kids (ages 13 and 10) who I love as my own. Their mother — my husband’s former wife — is a lesbian in a committed relationship. Here’s where I’m at a loss: She refuses to talk to the kids about her sexual orientation despite the fact that her partner has lived in their house for several years. Continue reading A stepmother wonders about her stepkids’ closeted mom.