Category Archives: Gay Dad/s

How can the daughter of a gay father move past secrets and isolation?

Q:

I stumbled on your website out of of desperation. I’m 28 years old. I found out my father was gay when I was 13, but I had to keep it a secret for nearly ten years, because my father said he wasn’t ready to tell my younger brother — or anyone else for that matter.

I was made to accept my family’s situation very quietly and had no one to talk to as it was “a secret.” I love my father and thought we had a good relationship, but lately I feel so angry. Continue reading How can the daughter of a gay father move past secrets and isolation?

Should a gay dad’s former wife still attend family events?

Q:

I’m a gay father of a six-year-old son. I came out four years ago, and his mother and I remain best friends. My parents wish to keep my ex-wife involved in family gatherings, even when my partner is there. I am caught in the middle, trying to ensure my partner is okay with my ex-wife being there, and making sure that my ex-wife doesn’t feel excluded from my family for my son’s sake. I’m generally okay with both of them being included, but I don’t know if it should continue forever. Should we lessen the occasions to ease confusion with others? Continue reading Should a gay dad’s former wife still attend family events?

Discovering Dad is gay — after 38 years of marriage.

Q:

My husband just found out that his parents are divorcing after 38 years of marriage because his father is gay. My husband is supportive of gay rights, but right now he is shocked and incredibly upset. He feels deceived by his father for keeping this secret for so long and for deserting his mother. Are there any resources out there for this type of situation? Continue reading Discovering Dad is gay — after 38 years of marriage.

A daughter thinks her 75-year-old father is bisexual.

Q:

I am a 39 year old woman. My parents have been married for 45 years but I recently come across some evidence that makes me strongly believe that my 75-year-old father has been leading a secret lifestyle of bisexuality.

My father does not know what I have discovered, and I do not want my mother to ever find out. I have only talked to my husband about this, but I have three siblings and am dealing with the decision of whether or not I should tell them. Do I live with this secret forever? Continue reading A daughter thinks her 75-year-old father is bisexual.

How should two dads celebrate Mother’s Day?

Q:

We are gay fathers of twins through surrogacy. Our son and daughter are now three and a half years old. We have almost no contact with the surrogate — something we established by mutual choice before the pregnancy.

With Mother’s Day approaching, we are wondering how to prepare their nursery school teachers to deal with the situation. Continue reading How should two dads celebrate Mother’s Day?

Is an 11-year-old son ashamed of his gay dad?

Q:

My 11-year-old son recently informed me that he steers away from telling the truth when someone asks him whether his Dad is gay or not. How should I best tell him how to handle this situation?

My partner is always with us for athletic and school functions, so many kids and their parents may already know I’m gay. My son insists he has no problem with me being gay — he’s known and has lived with me his whole life — but I am concerned about him hiding it from other people. If someone specifically asks him if his Dad is gay, do you feel it’s okay for him to hide the truth? Is he ashamed? Continue reading Is an 11-year-old son ashamed of his gay dad?