Category Archives: Extended Family

Should a gay dad’s former wife still attend family events?

Q:

I’m a gay father of a six-year-old son. I came out four years ago, and his mother and I remain best friends. My parents wish to keep my ex-wife involved in family gatherings, even when my partner is there. I am caught in the middle, trying to ensure my partner is okay with my ex-wife being there, and making sure that my ex-wife doesn’t feel excluded from my family for my son’s sake. I’m generally okay with both of them being included, but I don’t know if it should continue forever. Should we lessen the occasions to ease confusion with others? Continue reading Should a gay dad’s former wife still attend family events?

How should a lesbian aunt come out to her nieces?

Q:

I am a lesbian, and I am wondering how to help my sister talk to her kids about my partner and me. My nieces, ages 5 and 9, used to come spend one weekend a month with me, but since my partner moved in, my sister won’t allow them to stay with us.

After going through a litany of excuses, my sister has admitted that she is not sure how to explain our relationship to the kids. Continue reading How should a lesbian aunt come out to her nieces?

Should nieces attend their aunt’s commitment ceremony?

Q:

I am a heterosexual mother of a five year old daughter and 11-year-old son. My lesbian sister is planning her “commitment ceremony” and wants my daughter to be the flower girl.

My 11 year old son knows his aunt is a lesbian, but has never really seemed to mind. We have never really discussed it, because it has not been an issue. Now that she is planning basically a “wedding,” it is an issue. Continue reading Should nieces attend their aunt’s commitment ceremony?

How should a new gay dad deal with his born-again sister?

Q:

My partner and I have been together for 11 years and have a set of 19 month twins via surrogacy. My sister recently became “born again” and has accepted their teachings.

In two recent emails she told me that God did not create me this way, and that homosexuality is an example of Satan’s influence in the world. Continue reading How should a new gay dad deal with his born-again sister?

How to handle non-gay-affirming relatives who have contact with children.

Q:

I am a mother in the process of coming out. My own mother and brother are not accepting at all. My brother has in fact asked that I have no contact with him or his family. My mother, while not local, does visit and I know full well she is going to probe my kids with questions that are personal, and in so doing will leave them wondering “what’s wrong?” Continue reading How to handle non-gay-affirming relatives who have contact with children.

Should a gay uncle come out?

Q:

I have a friend who is married with four kids. He is planning to tell his gay brother that he doesn’t want his kids knowing that their uncle is gay. Isn’t it better to tell them instead of hiding it from them? Kids are very accepting of this these days, aren’t they? Does it confuse the kids? I love both of these guys like my own brothers and I want to intelligently help them. Continue reading Should a gay uncle come out?

How will the “in-laws” react to a religious commitment ceremony?

Q:

My partner of six years and I are planning to go to Vermont for a civil union ceremony. We are very close to all the members of his family, and they have always been very welcoming to me.

His parents are very strong Catholics, while Steve long ago rebelled against anything the Catholic Church stood for. I am a very strong Presbyterian. Continue reading How will the “in-laws” react to a religious commitment ceremony?