Category Archives: Adult Children

Her father’s sexual orientation is the “elephant in the livingroom.”

Q:

Three years ago, my sisters and I found out my father is gay, but not because he came out and told us. My youngest sister (11 at the time) found some incriminating evidence, and put the pieces together. Since then, there has been a mutual understanding between my mother and father, and my father and us, that he is gay, but our family will remain intact. We have never sat down together to actually discuss the situation, Continue reading

How can the daughter of a gay father move past secrets and isolation?

Q:

I stumbled on your website out of of desperation. I’m 28 years old. I found out my father was gay when I was 13, but I had to keep it a secret for nearly ten years, because my father said he wasn’t ready to tell my younger brother — or anyone else for that matter.

I was made to accept my family’s situation very quietly and had no one to talk to as it was “a secret.” I love my father and thought we had a good relationship, but lately I feel so angry. Continue reading

Discovering Dad is gay — after 38 years of marriage.

Q:

My husband just found out that his parents are divorcing after 38 years of marriage because his father is gay. My husband is supportive of gay rights, but right now he is shocked and incredibly upset. He feels deceived by his father for keeping this secret for so long and for deserting his mother. Are there any resources out there for this type of situation? Continue reading

Her spouse was once a man, but now they look like a lesbian couple.

Q:

I am a heterosexual woman, married for 24 years and mother of two grown sons. Their father, who is transgender, fully transitioned two years ago, and we have stayed married throughout the process.

We have a deep and abiding bond of love and commitment, so that is not the issue. The issue is that I am simply not a lesbian, am not attracted to women in a sexual manner, and am very uncomfortable that people think I am a lesbian. Continue reading

A daughter thinks her 75-year-old father is bisexual.

Q:

I am a 39 year old woman. My parents have been married for 45 years but I recently come across some evidence that makes me strongly believe that my 75-year-old father has been leading a secret lifestyle of bisexuality.

My father does not know what I have discovered, and I do not want my mother to ever find out. I have only talked to my husband about this, but I have three siblings and am dealing with the decision of whether or not I should tell them. Do I live with this secret forever? Continue reading

Mom kisses woman. Daughter moves out.

Q:

I am a 19 year old college student. I love my mom but hate her at the same time. She has three kids, has been married twice and all of her relationships have been with men. All my life my mother and I have been really close. Three weeks ago, I caught her kissing a woman from her work and we got in a big fight. She said that it made her happy. I am so ashamed and we haven’t talked since.

I miss her. The other day we both broke down and cried. Now she says she is not a lesbian. Yet this other woman sleeps at my house. Continue reading