Drawing the honest family portrait in grade school

Q:

My daughter is 10 years old and I have been with my lesbian partner for four years. My daughter’s father and I separated six years ago and we remain friends.

My daughter is having problems at school. When she drew a picture of her family, she drew two stepmothers, a mom and a dad. Kids asked her about the additional women in the drawing, and without thought she said “those are my stepmoms.”

Now the kids in school make fun of her for having a lesbian mom and they say she is gay, too. Continue reading Drawing the honest family portrait in grade school

“Ex-lesbian” mother has abusive boyfriend.

Q:

I am a 40-year-old mother, currently living with a man for the past three years. Before this, I was with a woman for ten years. I am still very attracted to women and I have dreams about them all the time. This guy is abusive in every way and he is in counseling for anger management. He says he loves me but I am confused about what I want, thinking I can get over this turmoil I feel inside by focusing on what the straight life can provide.

I am unhappy, but I am Catholic and my family would freak Continue reading “Ex-lesbian” mother has abusive boyfriend.

Discovering Dad is gay — after 38 years of marriage.

Q:

My husband just found out that his parents are divorcing after 38 years of marriage because his father is gay. My husband is supportive of gay rights, but right now he is shocked and incredibly upset. He feels deceived by his father for keeping this secret for so long and for deserting his mother. Are there any resources out there for this type of situation? Continue reading Discovering Dad is gay — after 38 years of marriage.

A young daughter of lesbians questions what is “normal.”

Q:

My partner’s six-year-old came home from school and was so riled up. We asked her if there was anything she wanted to talk about. She started crying and said that she was embarrassed that she has two moms. She was barely able to get the words out because she was sobbing so hard. She said that it’s normal for her dad to get divorced and have a girlfriend, but not for her mom. She said, “this is not normal.”

She said she has been feeling embarrassed since she started school. Continue reading A young daughter of lesbians questions what is “normal.”

Her spouse was once a man, but now they look like a lesbian couple.

Q:

I am a heterosexual woman, married for 24 years and mother of two grown sons. Their father, who is transgender, fully transitioned two years ago, and we have stayed married throughout the process.

We have a deep and abiding bond of love and commitment, so that is not the issue. The issue is that I am simply not a lesbian, am not attracted to women in a sexual manner, and am very uncomfortable that people think I am a lesbian. Continue reading Her spouse was once a man, but now they look like a lesbian couple.

A lesbian couple’s daughter deflects questions about sleeping arrangements.

Q:

I have a ten-year-old daughter who has a hard time answering her friends when they ask the question, “Do your moms sleep in the same bed?”

She is choosing to fib and say that one of us sleeps on the couch. Most of the parents of our daughter’s friends know about our two-mom house, however many of those parents have not talked to their own children about it. What’s the best approach? Continue reading A lesbian couple’s daughter deflects questions about sleeping arrangements.

A stepmother wonders about her stepkids’ closeted mom.

Q:

I am a stepmother with two kids (ages 13 and 10) who I love as my own. Their mother — my husband’s former wife — is a lesbian in a committed relationship. Here’s where I’m at a loss: She refuses to talk to the kids about her sexual orientation despite the fact that her partner has lived in their house for several years. Continue reading A stepmother wonders about her stepkids’ closeted mom.