All posts by Abigail Garner

Using a “known donor” you don’t really know.

Q:

I have just recently got your book. Thanks for all the info. I know it will be helpful along the way.

I am a lesbian in a committed relationship with my girlfriend for three years now. We are both very much in love and both of us want to be parents together. However, we live in Ireland and gay people have no rights as parents, adoption etc. My girlfriends wants to be the biological parent however she wants the donor to be an old friend of hers who I have not met. Continue reading Using a “known donor” you don’t really know.

How can the daughter of a gay father move past secrets and isolation?

Q:

I stumbled on your website out of of desperation. I’m 28 years old. I found out my father was gay when I was 13, but I had to keep it a secret for nearly ten years, because my father said he wasn’t ready to tell my younger brother — or anyone else for that matter.

I was made to accept my family’s situation very quietly and had no one to talk to as it was “a secret.” I love my father and thought we had a good relationship, but lately I feel so angry. Continue reading How can the daughter of a gay father move past secrets and isolation?

Should a transsexual parent and her teen daughter relocate?

Q:

I am a male-to-female transsexual who underwent surgery last November. Since my transition, my 13-year-old daughter is having some issues with the kids at school. They have started asking her about me on a daily basis. She is very upset about it.

The school social worker says we should move to a new community where they don’t know us because she thinks that it will get worse when my daughter enters high school. What do you think? Should we move? Continue reading Should a transsexual parent and her teen daughter relocate?

Kids don’t want to meet Mom’s girlfriend.

Q:

My girlfriend of six months is mother to a son (13) and daughter (15). Until she met me, she had not been involved with anyone since her divorce 10 years ago.

Her children are very much against our relationship and are very adamant about not meeting me. My girlfriend is respecting their wishes, so I only get to see her every other week — when the kids are with their father. We are feeling very frustrated and resentful towards the kids. Continue reading Kids don’t want to meet Mom’s girlfriend.

In love with a parent in the closet.

Q:

My girlfriend is telling me that we can never be together because of her kids (ages 11 and 2). Our relationship began seven months ago, but we were friends first. This is her first gay relationship. She has told me that she has never been happier in her life, but she just can’t do it because of the kids. I told her she should come out to the kids, and she sounded scared to death to even think about it. Plus, she won’t talk to anyone else about this.

It makes me feel as if she is ashamed of me in public, but in love with me in private. Continue reading In love with a parent in the closet.

Should a gay dad’s former wife still attend family events?

Q:

I’m a gay father of a six-year-old son. I came out four years ago, and his mother and I remain best friends. My parents wish to keep my ex-wife involved in family gatherings, even when my partner is there. I am caught in the middle, trying to ensure my partner is okay with my ex-wife being there, and making sure that my ex-wife doesn’t feel excluded from my family for my son’s sake. I’m generally okay with both of them being included, but I don’t know if it should continue forever. Should we lessen the occasions to ease confusion with others? Continue reading Should a gay dad’s former wife still attend family events?