All posts by Abigail Garner

How should a lesbian aunt come out to her nieces?

Q:

I am a lesbian, and I am wondering how to help my sister talk to her kids about my partner and me. My nieces, ages 5 and 9, used to come spend one weekend a month with me, but since my partner moved in, my sister won’t allow them to stay with us.

After going through a litany of excuses, my sister has admitted that she is not sure how to explain our relationship to the kids. Continue reading How should a lesbian aunt come out to her nieces?

“Kids at school are asking if my mom is a lesbian.”

Q:

My mother just told me that she is a lesbian and that she has a girlfriend. It’s a lot of stress just finding out, but what’s more difficult is that everybody at school has always asked me if my mom is a lesbian. Whenever people asked, I would defend her and say she was not.

Now that she has told me she really is a lesbian, I don’t know what to do. Should I tell people the truth when they ask, or should I go on protecting my mom?

— 14-year-old daughter in Southern California Continue reading “Kids at school are asking if my mom is a lesbian.”

A daughter thinks her 75-year-old father is bisexual.

Q:

I am a 39 year old woman. My parents have been married for 45 years but I recently come across some evidence that makes me strongly believe that my 75-year-old father has been leading a secret lifestyle of bisexuality.

My father does not know what I have discovered, and I do not want my mother to ever find out. I have only talked to my husband about this, but I have three siblings and am dealing with the decision of whether or not I should tell them. Do I live with this secret forever? Continue reading A daughter thinks her 75-year-old father is bisexual.

A birth mother’s secret: She chose two mommies to adopt her son.

Q:

I am a 24-year-old heterosexual woman. Last year I placed my son for adoption with a fantastic lesbian couple who have been together for 20 years. While the decision was very difficult, I know I made the right choice for everyone.

We agreed to an open adoption. Now my biggest problem is that my own parents don’t know any of this. I stopped talking to them right before I got pregnant, and was afraid to reconnect with them before I gave birth. Continue reading A birth mother’s secret: She chose two mommies to adopt her son.

How should two dads celebrate Mother’s Day?

Q:

We are gay fathers of twins through surrogacy. Our son and daughter are now three and a half years old. We have almost no contact with the surrogate — something we established by mutual choice before the pregnancy.

With Mother’s Day approaching, we are wondering how to prepare their nursery school teachers to deal with the situation. Continue reading How should two dads celebrate Mother’s Day?

Early apprehensions from lesbian prospective parents.

Q:

I am a 27-year-old feminine lesbian. I have recently become serious about starting a meaningful relationship with a woman who is just as feminine as I am. We’ve known each other for a few years, and have recently been idealizing about having children — after we are married, of course.

Here’s the issue/question: My partner seems to be uncertain about how our child(ren) should address us. She’s questioning whether they should refer to us both as mommy or not. Continue reading Early apprehensions from lesbian prospective parents.