All posts by Abigail Garner

Gay dad wants both wife and boyfriend.

Q:

I am a 20 year old college student and my dad just came out to me. My parents are still married and don’t plan on divorcing. My dad wants to continue his relationship with his boyfriend while staying with my mother. He sees no problem with splitting his life in two.

I feel like my father is cheating everyone and being selfish. Continue reading Gay dad wants both wife and boyfriend.

Kids don’t want to see their lesbian mother.

Q:

I am a 39 year-old mom of two daughters, 15 and 10, who are less than pleased with my recent revelation that I’m lesbian. They thought our family was the 90’s equivalent of the Cleavers.

Their dad and I divorced five months ago without a clear-cut custody order, wishfully thinking we would be able to develop our own parenting plan. The girls have basically shunned me Continue reading Kids don’t want to see their lesbian mother.

Our eight-year-old is outing us — and getting teased.

Q:

My partner and I have an 8-year-old daughter. She has just recently told a couple of her friends that we are lesbians. Our daughter is very active in school functions: cheerleading, softball and dance. I am going to help coach her cheerleading squad this fall. The coach and a couple of parents are aware that we are gay and have no problem with it.

But kids can be cruel. What is the best advice we can give her on how to handle any teasing that may happen since she is starting to “out” us? Continue reading Our eight-year-old is outing us — and getting teased.

Not quite a “dad,” more than a “donor.”

Q:

I am the donor father for two of my best friends. These friends are both women, and we have decided that I will father a child for both of them. We have also decided that, because we are so close now, I will develop a special “familial” relationship with the children, but not be their “parent”, and they will know that I am their father. We have a one year old little girl now, and we are currently in the process of trying to conceive again. The difficulty that has arisen for us is finding a kinship term for my role in this chosen family. Continue reading Not quite a “dad,” more than a “donor.”

Does a gay father need to officially come out to kids?

Q:

I’m a 31 year old gay father. My two daughters are 5 & 7 years old. Their mother and I separated when my youngest daughter was less than a year old.

I have been with my partner for over 3 years. My daughters have known my partner since he came into my life. He loves them as if they were his own and my children love him as well.

I have never had an actual conversation with my children in an attempt to explain what being gay means, Continue reading Does a gay father need to officially come out to kids?

Lesbian Mother co-parenting with homophobic ex-husband.

Q:

I have a ten-year-old girl and a seven-year-old boy. I am a lesbian mom in a four year relationship with the most wonderful person I have ever met. My little girl is the only child actually clued in and her response was, “Well, is that all?” But she does fear being the only child with a gay parent.

Our main problem is the ex-husband’s homophobic beliefs and the confusion it causes the children. Continue reading Lesbian Mother co-parenting with homophobic ex-husband.

A lesbian mother doesn’t want to talk about it.

Q:

I am 27 and I have tried to explain to my mom why sometimes my life is difficult because she is a lesbian. I can’t make her see my point of view at all. She said, “You know, I honestly can’t think of a time in my entire life where my own parents’ sexuality could possibly have arisen as a topic of conversation!”

What would you have said to that? Sometimes I just get a little too close to see it all clearly. Continue reading A lesbian mother doesn’t want to talk about it.