I am a child care provider. My question is about how to interact with the children in my care who have a lesbian mother. The boys are 20 months and 2 1/2 years old. I did not know that their mother was a lesbian when they started in my care. It was brought to my attention by their aunt.
These brothers are always hugging and kissing each other, but I never thought anything of it. I thought that they were just being kids and so I usually just tell them to stop because it’s not nice to be in each other’s faces.
I would like to talk to the mother about her children’s behavior but I don’t want to offend her. I don’t believe the mother knows that I am aware she’s a lesbian.
Our society encourages boys to wrestle and rough-house together, but in this case, a more gentle interaction of hugging and kissing seems wrong to you. Why?
What would you want to tell the mother about the boys’ behavior? Originally, you thought they were “just being kids.” How do you see it differently now that you know their mom is a lesbian?
While their hugging might seem unusual to you, there’s no harm in it. I would only see it as a problem if one of them does not want to be touched that way. If you are assuming that their mom is “teaching” the boys to behave this way, I doubt it. The more probable scenario is that the boys’ behavior is not discouraged at home. Many straight parents would immediately reprimand their sons for being affectionate with other boys because they fear that would “make” them gay. That’s simply not true, and their mother probably knows that.