All posts by Abigail Garner

Mother to tell daughter: “I’m not gay but my girlfriend is.”

Q:

I am a 39 year old single “straight” mother with a 12-year-old daughter. I have always had a lot of boyfriends and am a typical attractive feminine professional woman. For the past year and a half I have been in a relationship with an “openly” gay woman who is very attractive, feminine, and professional.

I do not consider myself “gay” or “bisexual” so I’m not quite sure how to explain my relationship with this woman to my daughter. Continue reading Mother to tell daughter: “I’m not gay but my girlfriend is.”

Teen afraid to ask about biological father.

Q:

I am a 17-year-old daughter of a lesbian couple. There is me, my biological mom, my other mom and her two kids from a previous marriage. My parents had been together about 8 years before I was born.

I don’t know my father, his name, heritage, or anything. I can only remember one time the topic of my father really came up in conversation. Continue reading Teen afraid to ask about biological father.

She’s bisexual and married to a man.

Q:

I am a bisexual woman married to a man. We have two toddlers. While we might have the outside appearance of being a heterosexual couple, most of our friends and social activities are LGBT.

My husband is straight but, he is also active in his LGBT group at his company — works on the parade float, performs in the parade, goes to parties, etc.

Our children are definitely being raised in queer culture. How do we explain this to them as they are growing up? Continue reading She’s bisexual and married to a man.

Is an 11-year-old son ashamed of his gay dad?

Q:

My 11-year-old son recently informed me that he steers away from telling the truth when someone asks him whether his Dad is gay or not. How should I best tell him how to handle this situation?

My partner is always with us for athletic and school functions, so many kids and their parents may already know I’m gay. My son insists he has no problem with me being gay — he’s known and has lived with me his whole life — but I am concerned about him hiding it from other people. If someone specifically asks him if his Dad is gay, do you feel it’s okay for him to hide the truth? Is he ashamed? Continue reading Is an 11-year-old son ashamed of his gay dad?

Mom kisses woman. Daughter moves out.

Q:

I am a 19 year old college student. I love my mom but hate her at the same time. She has three kids, has been married twice and all of her relationships have been with men. All my life my mother and I have been really close. Three weeks ago, I caught her kissing a woman from her work and we got in a big fight. She said that it made her happy. I am so ashamed and we haven’t talked since.

I miss her. The other day we both broke down and cried. Now she says she is not a lesbian. Yet this other woman sleeps at my house. Continue reading Mom kisses woman. Daughter moves out.

Talking about (more than) “the birds and the bees”

Q:

I am a gay dad of two boys, ages 10 and 13. I came out to them a year ago when their mother and I separated. We are struggling to find the right way to discuss sexuality with our sons as they hit adolescence, given the fact that they have a gay dad.

Should we proceed differently than we otherwise might? Continue reading Talking about (more than) “the birds and the bees”